Ink

I feel like it has been a while since I last wrote down my thoughts. Sometimes I find its invaluable to my processing, and other times its not as important. How do you measure the importance of trying to spill your heart on paper (or on keyboard, in my case)? I believe that writing out my thoughts can be beneficial in digging out the depth of my thought life. Sometimes it challenges me to think deeper thoughts, rather than channel surf through empty advertisements in my head. “Why did I spend hours flipping through the status updates of people I seldom talk with on facebook?” “How do we eradicate abortion in our lifetime?” “I wonder what it would do for my wardrobe if I bought a new pair of TOMS?” 

Even if we don’t find resolutions in just thinking about the world’s issues, could our thought process lead us to a moment of prayer that could refocus ourselves to think less selfishly? And actually, a prayer of inability to help could open the door to see an opportunity to get involved. Or, it could help us see the need to pray more.

Writing could also cause our thoughts to inspire change in others. Spilling our insecurities in written word could be like emptying an ink jar on white carpet. Spilling something so messy could stain someone’s hands with the truth that ‘your thoughts, your inhibitions and your shortcomings are not your own- there are others who go through this too.’ Could we be bold enough to admit the different ways we see ourselves as more apart of and not above the human race than we really like to admit? That in reality, we have less answers than we have questions? 

Maybe writing could do that. If we wanted to be really honest...

Or

Writing too honestly could expose the death-riddled parts of our hearts and incur more death by the judgement passed by readers. Judgment may be too strong. I’ll use the word ‘critique’. Subtle, malignant analyses of the content of one’s writing. In humbling ourselves, in vulnerability we offer an open window to the soul. people can view the inner sanctuary of the house and come and commune. To create the life-breathing relationships it takes to make a house a home. Or vandals may enter to tear down the intricate design of the designer. Destroying and deeming worthless the beautiful paintings that may be in the process of being refurbished. They may not be as they once were, but that’s what the designer is there for... Bringing to attention what the artist intended originally. Restoring the integrity of the house. 

To write honestly, is to unveil what may be incorrect, or what is in process of being established in that inner sanctuary. To write with vulnerability is to invite others to come and view our naked hearts. It is an opportunity for our thoughts to produce what we hope for them to. To read, is to watch something blossom or infect.

Just a thought...

...As it was made to be

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see what you find there,

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

• Mumford and Sons

Love that will not betray you, 

dismay or enslave you,

It will set you free

Be more like the man 

you were made to be.

There is a design,

An alignment to cry,

At my heart you see,

The beauty of love 

as it was made to be.

• Mumford and Sons

I listed a couple songs that talk about love. These may or may not be very well known, they are lyrics from one of my favorite bands. They don’t consider themselves to be a christian band or to have christian lyrics, but their message seems to be threaded with truth. It reminds me of what the Word says about love.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” - 1 John 4:18

Galations 5:1 also talks about the freedom we have in Christ. I believe that freedom is a product of our acceptance of the love of Christ and our trust in it. 

Today I was reading A. W. Tozer’s classic, “The Knowledge of the Holy” and he wrote about the friendship of the Lord. In humility we come to Him, saying we are not worthy, but what about the love that He has given us and the position we have that He has offered to us? I could go into a discussion of the freedom of His love here, but I was stuck on the position that He speaks about his children having; we are heirs, and therefore can boldly approach our Father:

The Disciples might well have hesitated to claim friendship with Christ, but Christ said to them, “Ye are my friends.” Modesty may demur at so rash a thought, but audacious faith dares to believe the Word and claim friendship with God. We do God more honor by believing what He has said about Himself and having the courage to come boldly to the throne of grace than by hiding in self-conscious humility among the trees of the garden(Tozer 96).

God has given us access to the throne. As believers, we not only have the ability to come to Him, He desires us to. The mercy seat enthrones Him who gave us, inferior beings who struggle with pride, sin and all kinds of lusts, life. And all the while, we dishonor him when we call ourselves unworthy of the position He gives. I will honor my Father, I will approach the throne with boldness...

Sweet bread and babies with death sentences...

I want to share a few of my experiences from the last few days... Some of significance, some of ramblings.... Either are my own thought processes and both are threaded with the perspective I am trying to have: Heavenly perspective. How do I continue to have Heavenly perspective even in the menial things? Only by the grace of God...

February 11, 2011

I woke up in Washington DC to the sound of prestigious bustle outside my window ( I don’t really know if it is prestigious, it would just appear to be that way because of location. It sounds prestigious because of my lack of experience here, the exposure I have had to this city has only been through history books and movies). I start out feeling a little drowsy, but nonetheless excited to explore the city. Something about being in a new place with the reputation it has intrigues me. This  city is on the map because of so many things. One, being the White House, and another, being everything that it produces. Law and injustice are in the air.

February 12, 2011

Went to “the Gate” church tonight. After a day of hearing Jason Hershey’s journey, being blown away by the work God is doing through him to end abortion, we stood at the Supreme Court to intercede for unborn children who have an appointment with death before exiting the womb. A Silent Siege is what Jason calls this silent protest in which one places a piece of red tape across his mouth with the word “LIFE” written across it. The purpose is to be a voice for the voiceless by giving up our voices. As silent prayer is lifted to heaven, we believe that the silent cries of the innocent are being heard, and God is moving. 

“The Gate” church was a stretching experience for me. It is a congregation of radical believers in the more charismatic stream. I love the way the Holy Spirit moves through this church, and found myself enjoying the beauty of the Lord in the differences this church had to what I deem “normal” or even “Spirit filled.” Prophetic groups who gather with the freedom for anyone to share “what saith the Lord” on the microphone is bold. I respect the pastor for the approach he takes and believe it is a church that teaches the truth. 

February 13, 2011

This morning, as I sit down to eat my Mallorca sweet bread and drink my caramel macciato, I am humming “Roxanne” by the Police. Not sure why. Trying to figure out the significance when I remember that a former co-worker of mine, Roxanne, loved the sweet bread. Every time I order it, it reminds me of her. God bless Roxanne. Encounter her now.

        I feel like today is going to be a day of joy...

The lady I am sitting across the room from in Starbucks is sleeping. She is snoring kind of loudly and its a little awkward. But because she is a little older, people seem to have grace and don’t appear to be perturbed in any way. She must be lonely. I saw the same lady 2 days ago. Same sweater. Same hat. Same bags sitting beside her as she carried before. Bless her, LORD.

February 14, 2011

This morning I woke up early, upset that it was already morning. I fumbled out of bed to go to the bathroom. The first 5 minutes I spent trying to convince myself I didn’t need to be up at this point, that I could sleep a little while longer and feel ok about it. What would one hour with the Lord do, when I hadn’t even budgeted for the 3 I would really like to spend with Him? I pretty much already blew it... No, that’s ridiculous. I was going to get up and go. I sat at Starbucks, read a little, walked over to the guy’s place for worship, then to the appointment we had set to meet with Dick Simmons. I was so excited! This Father of the faith... Imparting his wisdom to us. He began to share about his faith journey. Years of service to the Lord and his hours laboring in the prayer room in intercession. Sometimes 15 hours during the day... 

What is one hour with the Lord? Everything.

The East Coast.

...

After a 3 hour delay in Denver, I arrived in Boston, greeted by two of my team members, Erica and Haley and a friend from CCU, Veniamin. Our trip was beginning on a great foot, staying at JHOP (Justice House of Prayer) stoked our anticipation for what the LORD would direct us to in the weeks approaching. JHOP and its members also welcomed us with joy and a warm place to reconnect together as a team.

. After settling into our home the first night, we woke early in the morning to walk to Harvard University to join Eunice Lee ( a YWAM alumni) and her group of prayer warriors. A group of about 6 students (most of whom are freshmen) meet regularly in the church on campus to build the Kingdom based on the knowledge of the Lord, as opposed to the inferior kingdom of the knowledge of man. It was humbling being among this group because of their faith and first hand understanding of how far the university has fallen from what it was originally established to accomplish. Harvard is dying for something bigger than what its lofty ambitions set out to establish and break down...

Trent Sheppard on the . After our morning of prayer and fellowship, our group had the privilege of conversing with Trent Sheppard- picking his brain on topics like community and continued growth in the Christian life. He offered us his thoughts of what has been on his heart for years. The MAN of JESUS... This deserves more elaboration, because it was a life-changing, however, I want to share about the next couple locations we went to.

After Boston, we took a day trip to New Jersey to visit  House of Prayer. What a wonderful community! We spent our time getting to know the people involved with the prayer house and enjoyed time worshiping the LORD for about 4 and a half hours straight.

We now find ourselves in Lancaster, Pennsylvania staying at Corey Martin's house. I love getting to hang out with this beautiful family. This week we will be visiting the Fire and Fragrance crew in Harrisburg... More exciting times to come!